If I’m allowed to eat anything… I’m scared I’ll eat everything…
I see this concern all the time from people starting out their intuitive eating rite of passage because wait a minute… I am allowed to eat whatever I want… whenever I want? This is such an alien concept for those of us who spent the majority of our lives either on a diet or shaming ourselves for not being on one, and so this concern stems from one of our biggest fears which is losing or being out of control.
But if you think about it, what have restrictive rules and regimes around food and your body brought you? They’ve brought momentary illusions of control, most likely quite a few episodes of bingeing, a lot of guilt and shame, and a constant preoccupation with food; what you ‘should’ eat, when you should eat it, how much to eat, who you can eat with, why you can’t eat that, why you can eat this etc. You were being controlled; you didn’t really have much yourself.
So, what’s the opposite of that stringent approach? It’s freedom of choice and satisfying that. So what’s the opposite of bingeing? It’s a consistent, peaceful, balanced relationship with food. When you were NOT allowed to eat what you wanted when you wanted, you lost control. When you are given freedom to make and honour your choices dependant on your feelings, what will serve you best in that moment, you have the power.
This isn’t to say that there won’t ever again be times when you binge eat, especially when you’re first starting out. This would be untruthful to suggest because like anything you practice over and over again, you get really good at it, and bringing new infrastructure to your eating won’t suddenly erase the years of habitual dieting that are engrained in your day-today life. BUT… it won’t be a consistent occurrence as when you were dieting and many people see binges diminish altogether after a short while, provided you really do learn to give yourself unconditional permission to eat.
You may even spend your first few weeks eating – and that’s ok. When you haven’t drunk water for a long time you’re not surprised when you find yourself glugging down litres at a time. The same goes for food, it’s crucial that you let your mind and body recalibrate to catch up and feel reassured that you won’t be cracking the whip again anytime soon. We humans have this weird thing about scarcity – we want something so much more when we’re not allowed it. I mean who doesn’t want to press the big red “DO NOT PUSH’ button right? But when all barriers are lifted, suddenly it’s just not that sexy anymore, there’s no resistance to gauge our attention. And all of a sudden, you just can’t be bothered with forcing yourself to finish that second slice of delicious whatever because, no matter how delicious it is, it’s not forbidden… you’re just not that hungry anymore… and you can come back to it whenever you want.
Hold compassion for yourself, heal your heart, heal your relationship with food and your body, and before you know it you’ll be pre-occupied with vitality, not the number of calories you’ve eaten that day.
Book your free consultation call with me to enquire about starting private therapy sessions, click the button below.
